My Grandpa…

Found something I wrote back in college for my English Composition class and thought I’d share.

GRANDPA

Has anyone ever made such a huge impact on your life that it changed the way you thought and lived? I searched my head for an answer to this question, and it made me think of my grandfather.

I remember Grandpa and his kind smile, and the way he loved his family. His never-ending faith remains encouraging to me to this day. I feel his warmth every time I walk into his home. Growing up, death was something I never thought about; it never affected my life. When someone not very close to my family died, I didn’t understand how the ones left behind felt, until I lost my grandfather. The death of someone you love is without a doubt painful and life changing.

It was a rainy Monday morning in May 2002. I lazily dressed for school, keeping in mind that it was my final year at Old Harbour High. Graduation was just around the corner. I looked at myself in the mirror and frowned at my uniform, which included a green pleated skirt, yellow shirt with white buttons, and a green tie with yellow stripes. I heard the voices of both my grandparents resounded from the living room. Delight filled me at their visit.

I entered the living room and saw my grandpa sitting on the armrest of the sofa with his hands folded. Grandpa gave me his gentle smile and said, “What’s up?” I smiled back at him as Grandma patted my arm lovingly. While I sat at the table eating breakfast, I overheard my mom asking Grandpa about the pain he was feeling in his stomach. My dad was going to drive him to a doctor’s appointment after taking me to school. I couldn’t help but wonder to myself, “What pain? Look at Grandpa! He’s in great health; he’ll outlive us all.” Little did I know that would be the beginning of a series of doctor visits with no real diagnosis until it was too late.

A few weeks later, Grandpa’s pain got worse. He couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t eat. It even became difficult for him to move around. He was uncomfortable doing the simple day-to-day things he’d normally do. Grandma worried, and so did everyone else. It was hard to see the man who was once so cheerful and strong all of a sudden become so helpless.

Eventually, my dad had to take him to the hospital due to severe pain, and after further tests, doctors finally diagnosed Grandpa with Leukemia.

I still remember the Friday night when my family went to visit him in the hospital. It was the last time I would see my grandpa alive. My parents, siblings, aunts and uncles all went and the nurse made some of us leave because there were too many in his room. But we just loved him so badly and wanted him to know.

When it was my turn to see Grandpa, I became scared. I hated how the air smelled of medication and how sickly he looked lying in the bed with needles and tubes in his body. He was pale and appeared drained of life. He was so much pain, and it broke my heart seeing him in that state. Grandpa could hardly keep his eyes open but when he did, he’d say the name of someone he hadn’t seen yet. He’d touch our hands as we spoke to him, and even though he was going through that ordeal, he’d still smile.

Grandma never left his side. She sat in silence and held his hand. When she glanced away from him and wiped tears from her eyes, it finally hit me that my grandpa wasn’t going to get better. Becoming overwhelmed, I couldn’t stay in the room any longer. I wished that I could have been strong for Grandma, but it was too much. So I went to the parking lot and sat in my dad’s truck crying. Like Grandma, I didn’t want my grandpa to see my tears.

After spending nearly a month in the hospital, Grandpa passed away on an early Sunday morning in August. When my mom told me the news, I could barely get out of bed; my body felt numb. Sorrow had consumed my heart. I cried and argued with my grandpa, asking him, “Why didn’t you fight harder?” And I had even argued with God. “Why did you take him away?” These questions played over and over in my head.

I turned into a zombie, moving around in disbelief. I’d made so many plans and dreamed of many events: graduations, wedding, having children. For all of those things, both of my grandparents were supposed to be there together with everyone else. I truly believed it.

I remembered my dad, a man who had always shown strength; instead, he was broken down, sitting by himself in the living room. He stared off into space while crying. My house was quiet for the first time; it was shocking. The atmosphere was so heavy and sad as if life had left us all.

Hundreds turned out for the funeral, so much so that people had to stand at the back of the church before there were no more seats. I’d met relatives I hadn’t seen in a long time, and some I hadn’t met before. It was difficult seeing my grandpa in the open casket. One of my uncles fainted, and an aunt screamed before sinking to her knees. Grandma sat in quiet as her brother held her comfortingly. She had a dull look in her eyes that I had never seen before, and that brought more tears to mine.

During the service, many spoke about the wonderful person my grandpa was, how much they loved him, and how they thought he’d live longer than all of us. No one made it through sharing their stories without crying. My elder sister and I had recited a poem for him, and it brought everyone in the church to tears.

The service seemed almost celebratory, and I believed Grandpa must have been smiling in heaven on that day, knowing he had made such a positive impact on so many lives.

I had never truly accepted that he Grandpa was no longer here. Sometimes when I would visit my grandparents’ house, I’d find myself still looking for him and that gentle smile. Some of his clothes were still tucked away in Grandma’s closet, and his powdery scent still filled the air. I missed him most at the first Christmas without him, and every Christmas after that, because Grandpa would make his spicy and delicious soup and tell stories about him and Grandma, as well as stories about his life in the country and when he traveled for farm work.

Sometimes I’d see Grandpa in my dreams, mostly sitting on the front porch of his house and smiling at me. I would wake up and cry, but in no time, the happy memories would wipe my tears away.

My grandpa was selfless; he taught us never to be ignorant, and always be willing to lend a helping hand. His faith was strong. He was supportive, loving, humorous, and cared deeply for his family. Grandpa was all those things and so much more, but most importantly, he touched the lives of everyone he met. This is why I carry him with me, no matter how old I get, no matter where I go.

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Excerpt from ‘The Stone Files’ Volume One

Heart racing, Jessica dashed into the bedroom. She scrambled about like a madwoman while holding her head. “I never moved it! I know I didn’t!” she rambled on, trying to recall where she’d left the diary if she hadn’t returned it to its hiding place.

Her world was crashing down. She walked in circles, fretting. That diary had her secrets. All of them. “No one can find my diary. No one!”

“Jessica,” someone whispered from behind her. The familiar monotone paralyzed her in spot. The entire room suddenly went cold.

“That can’t be,” she breathed.

Shakily, she hugged herself and turned around to confirm the source of the voice. Jessica’s eyes expanded. She couldn’t believe what was before her. There, sitting at the edge of the bed, was Peter. Skin so pale, eyes no longer grey but like white crystal balls filled with pain. He flipped through her diary, grimacing in disgust at every page.

“P-Peter?” Jessica stuttered in shock. “But you’re dead!”

Excerpt from “Unfearing”

Here’s an unedited excerpt from “Unfearing”

coming soon!

*****

There comes a time when one must be brave in the sight of danger. And as sure as the rising sun on this day, all fears will be kept at bay.

“Sorvos, they’re coming!” Kehr called out from atop the hill, his voice eager.

I glanced back quickly at the defiant faces of my warriors, ready and willing to give their lives should it come to that.

The Arhaenians were our strongest enemies. Many had tried to conquer the kingdom of Ledron and had failed, but Arhaen and its fierce leader, Harus, will stop at nothing to destroy us all, especially when they themselves were merely an image of our people. Our battle with them would surely be our greatest challenge yet.

I positioned my horse and steadied before the fearless heroes and heroines who chose to fight with me. “Warriors of Ledron, hear me, your leader. Today, we will defend our kingdom, and we will be victorious!”

A sudden thrill reached my heart at the sound of their battle cries. But as much as I feared for their lives and what the end result of this day might be, I absolutely could not allow them to see the worry in my eyes. Instead, I would stand firm as their leader and ride out into battle with an unfailing spirit. Should I go down on this day I would be forever remembered as Sorvos, the great leader of Ledron, who like his fathers before him had fought mightily in his golden armor.

Swords clanked and flames collided as the fight began, in the midst of it all I made sure to protect my warriors above myself.

My eyes bored through the swarmed field, spotting Harus, still on his wild black horse watching the battle a top the hill and waiting for the moment to strike. I gritted my teeth in anticipation as I sped toward him, but halted my horse as a ball of fire came at me from the right.

I moved rapidly to destroy it with my own flames and jumped off my horse. My gaze found the cowardly Arhaenian, and I headed for him. He would feel my wrath.

The young lad trembled as I approached. His fright withheld him from moving fast enough to attempt another attack. I ran up with ease and took hold of his hand. By the appearance of his uniform—a pale blue shirt and grey pants—he was of low ranking with little or no experience of the battlefield. There was no way my heart could bare killing him.

“You’re no warrior,” I gritted and dropped him to the ground. He reached for the dagger at his side and I quickly knocked him unconscious with my power. For a moment, I thought of how the boy reminded me of my younger self, not realizing danger was drawing near.

“Sorvos, behind you!” Michael screamed, his voice streaked with terror. I spun just as Harus wielded his sword at my back. A true coward indeed, seeking the opportunity to destroy his opponent when he wasn’t looking.

Briskly, I swerved to my left and sidestepped him, crossing the blade at the tip of my spear with his.

Harus grunted as I pushed my force into him. He crumbled to the ground on one knee as he lost his balance. His eyes filled with fire as he glared into mine. “You… I will destroy you for taking my beloved.”

“She was never yours!” I spat back at him. “Your evil heart would have brought her end had she not escaped.”

He was a vengeful and petty man. One who was waging war against Ledron after the woman he loved fled from his side. Harus had recently learned that she’d settled in Ledron and became my mate, thus, his illogical reason for starting the war.

Margit was the fairest beauty I had ever laid eyes upon. Our attraction for each other burned deeply. We wedded only days after she arrived in Ledron. Margit spoke of the cruelty of Harus and how living in Arhaen was no different from being imprisoned. It was no wonder she escaped.

Seeing where this fight was going, I drew out the power within me and absorbed us both in flames.

Harus forced me back and swiftly jumped to his feet. He roared as his flames blared out of his hands and attacked me. I defended myself by stopping his fire with my own, but it was no use, we were each other’s match. The only way to win was if one of us surrendered, which would get myself and my warriors killed if I should make such a choice.

Unlessyes, that would definitely work.

I called out to my ancestors and spoke chants of Methius. His binding tricks were successful in the past against the most powerful of his enemies. Methius, along with Seronus, were the two greatest warriors Ledron had ever possessed.

Immediately, upon speaking the chants, Harus started to shiver. His eyes widened in disbelief and his sword fell from his grasp as he became encircled with blue flames. The binding power of Methius wasn’t strong enough to destroy Harus, but powerful enough to trap his body within the dark depths of his kingdom for centuries.

Harus would never be able to step foot in Ledron or the human world. He would remain, from this day on, a spirit lingering in the land of Arhaen, and only Methius had the power to free him.

“Sorvos, you coward!” he barked, struggling to free himself from the binds. Each time he tried to summon his flames he’d fail. “Free me now!”

I walked closer to Harus and whispered, “You shall now be called Ethryen, man of the shadows.” My curse echoed in the air, surrounding Harus and his warriors. They ceased fighting and glanced at their leader, fear consumed their eyes. Just as they started to run, a blaring light formed above them and they all vanished within.

“Ledarians!” The anger in Harus’ voice made me stagger in my steps. “This is not my end! You will never be rid of me!” His jarring cries drifted in the wind as he vanished within the blue flames of Methius.

“What happened? How did you defeat him?” Michael asked as he hurried to where I stood and settled his spear into the ground.

“The chants of Methius,” I replied, patting his shoulder. He nodded slowly and glanced about the field, almost as if seeking assurance that Harus was truly gone.

“He’s gone,” I told him, then turned and walked away to go check on the others.

This was a day I intended to forget until my enemy unleashed himself once more. But for now, I would take comfort knowing that the blood of my fellow Ledarians was not spilled on the battlefield. The kingdom of Ledron and the human world was safe.

For now.

***********

Credit: KHALID-ART

Unfearing is coming…

Hey loves~

A lot of you have been asking me about the second book in the Unresisting trilogy and I promise you, it’s coming. I’ve been away from the story for quite some time so I felt a bit detached. Now I’m working on reconnecting with my characters in order to deliver a sequel that provides clarity for some left confused and with questions from the first book. And of course, I definitely want to intensify the excitement. So no worries, Unfearing is coming!! 🙂

-Shane